Empowerment is motivating your own will power to work through any block of strong emotion such as fear or anger or ways of self-sabotage such as mental fogginess or confusion. From there you can make positive steps forward to make the changes you want to see.

Empowerment is not a passive exercise, but an active exercise of taking charge of your own thoughts. This idea of changing your mind to change your life is not a new one, but it works. Krishamurti says 'you can change your mind in an instant', but often changing a long-held ingrained belief takes time.

For example, perhaps you are not feeling loved and you would like someone to tell you they love you. To be empowered around this issue you would have to stop waiting for someone else to tell you are loved and start telling yourself. You would need to tell yourself frequently to really let it in. As this is your own experience you have to allow yourself to accept this new way of thinking in order not to self-sabotage this development. To do this takes effort. The effort is to notice and renounce any forms of 'yes but', 'if only...'. Notice when you are putting yourself down and comparing yourself with other people. These are just bad habits that can get in the way of your progress. You are a unique individual and any comparison to anyone else can never be a healing step forward. 

When you have told yourself enough times you are deeply loved then you will start to own and embody that love. If you are struggling with this step (if you were neglected or abused as a child and feel unloved because of this) then seek help from a good therapist to help you unravel this entrenched, unhelpful, painful belief. Empowerment is also commitment to your own personal growth and if you are really stuck then one of the kindest and most loving thing you can do for yourself is admit you have got as far as you can on your own and seek help.

Once you embody your self-love, you will no longer be waiting for someone to tell you are loved, as you will already know you are. You will also notice you will be less interested in spending time with people who do not behave in loving ways towards you. Especially if you are being more loving to yourself than they are able to be to you. Moving away from unsupportive unloving or toxic relationships is a natural consequence of loving yourself more and a positive effect for you as it will help you to loosen ties with people who do not fully appreciate you.

Sometimes accessing your inner sense of outrage can help to change a belief that is not shifting easily. Be outraged that someone would be mean to you to the extent that you changed your thoughts and beliefs about yourself. Try the phrase 'I refuse to hook into this belief anymore'

Back to our example... 'Of course I am loved, I am completely loveable.'

If you were put down as a child or adult then accessing some inner outrage may help you to push through the old thought pattern. Try the phrase 'How dare anyone think I am anything less than lovable'. This could bring up a lot of feelings of anger. Good! Feel the anger and outrage and let the power of your anger move the old belief out. If it feels too overwhelming to do this alone then try it within your support group or with your therapist.

Empowerment is taking charge of yourself and sometimes that means questioning beliefs forged in childhood and making changes so you can be the adult you want to be.

Empowerment also is harnessing your capacity to change and to give yourself the permission to do the internal work to live your life your way. This empowerment can take many forms and below are a few examples of how empowerment can manifest. 

  • Empowerment is being free to feel all your feelings
  • Empowerment is taking personal responsibility to transform what needs to be changed
  • Empowerment is speaking your truth even if others are uncomfortable with it
  • Empowerment is letting go of stuck, repetitive and difficult emotions
  • Empowerment is taking control of your life
  • Empowerment is being able to walk away from abusive or toxic situations
  • Empowerment is being free to break the ties that bind
  • Empowerment is allowing yourself to be ok
  • Empowerment is feeling free of the trauma of your past
Empowerment is living your life the way you want



Photograph by Jennifer Weston ©

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